Liberté, égalité, fraternité, Veganité.

twig boy cooks – my ode to Floyd. A mushroom, pea and booze risotto

twig boy cooks – my ode to Floyd. A mushroom, pea and booze risotto

Keith, twig boy raises a glass and salutes you. An absolute legend, you inspired me and a million other pretend cooks. You were, and are a genius.

We salute you with a large glass of vinho branco, well, the bit of the bottle we didn’t put in the food anyway!

Actually, nix that, we’ll open a new one.

For Keith. Salut. Cheers. Chin Chin.

Ingredients. Serves 2. Preparation time – 10 minutes. Cooking time – 40 minutes.
200g mushrooms
1 cup (posh) rice
1/2 onion, finely chopped
1 celery stick, finely sliced
1 handful frozen peas, I have big hands
2 garlic cloves, crushed
500ml vegetable stock
2 tbsp olive oil
white wine – about half a bottle
extra wine for drinking


ONE. Open the wine, pour yourself a glass. Raise one for Keith.

TWO. Heat the oil in a large and deep frying pan. Add the onion and garlic, cook them until they are soft, have another sip or glass. For Keith. When your onions are soft, add the celery and mushrooms.

THREE. Season everything, give it a stir and let it slowly cook for about 10 minutes, stir when it needs it.

FOUR. When the contents of your pan is looking cosmically softened add your posh rice. Mix it around and let it settle for a minute. Increase the heat. This next part is important. Bring on the booze! Splash a (large) glug of your white wine in to the pan. Most recipes would call for you to let the booze cook-off at this point but twig boy, you, and Keith deserve better. Let the wine engulf the rice, give it time to get involved.

FIVE. After a few minutes add some of your stock, about a third. Give it a stir and let it mellow. Maybe have a phone chat with your best lady friend. It’s better if you enjoy a glass of wine whilst you chat.

SIX. I’ll be honest, I’ve never cooked risotto before. I blindly threw in booze and stock. It was a 75/25 ratio. At this point I added my peas. If you want to be technical (Keith didn’t) add a small glass of wine and an equal amount of stock. Let it simmer. Stir.

SEVEN. Add the last throw of your of stock dice and another large glug of wine. Let it cook until the posh rice is cooked to your taste. Serve it with lashings of posh cheese or a nutritional yeast equivalent. Oh, also the wine.

Cheers Ketih.



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