This one goes out to all the citizens of my ex-home country suffering in the freezing cold winter chill of whatever storm it is you are facing. Heat up your night with this genius five bean fiery chilli. It will 100% warm you up. This […]
Month: February 2018
TWIG BOYS FRIED TOFU IS HERE AND IT’S READY TO TAKE ON THE BIG BOYS. Yes. The time has come to rise up and reap the rewards of the (delightful) misfortune that has hit the nations’ favourite chicken murderers sellers. Yes. The time has come […]
”It’s cheap, it’s quick, it’s not calorific, twig boys slaw, twig boys slaw.”
In my mind, that tune works perfectly but I am a huge Morrissey (king of the vegetarians) fan, so some people might say I am not the most tuned in when it comes to tunes*.
*They’re wrong obviously, Morrissey is great.
Ingredients. Serves – 2. Preparation time – 5 minutes. Cooking time – N/A
1 medium carrot
1 small white or red or both cabbage
1 pot of natural yoghurt
1 piece of ginger, optional, it does give a nice fiery kick to the whole dish mind
ONE. Use a speed peeler to peel your carrot, discard those dirty skin peelings and go all ‘Sweeney Todd’ on the remaining bit of carrot. Use your peeler to make long, short, fat, thin, whatever shreds of carrot. If you know the Sweeney Todd musical, feel free to sing out loud here, I recommend ‘Epiphany’. Once you’ve worked that out of your system, put the carrot into a medium-sized mixing bowl.
TWO. Use a sharp knife to finely shred your cabbage, again, sing if you like, no-one minds. Add the cabbage to the carrot. If you are using ginger, now is the time to get that involved. You can speed peel it, finely slice it or dice it. Whichever you prefer, when you’ve finished, add it to the bowl.
THREE. Scoop out your yoghurt into your mixing bowl, season liberally and mix it all together. Cover with cling film and place in the fridge. You can eat it straight away if you like but it’s better if left to sit for an hour or so. Serve as a snack or as a side dish. It goes incredibly well with ‘mushroom bombs and shrapnel’.
It’s Friday fry day! Jump start your weekend of beautiful vegetarian food with these cosmic mushroom boomers. As with all twig boy recipes, they are dead easy to make and taste pretty freaking amazing. They make an ideal starter or, if you’re feeling adventurous, team […]
Keith, twig boy raises a glass and salutes you. An absolute legend, you inspired me and a million other pretend cooks. You were, and are a genius.
We salute you with a large glass of vinho branco, well, the bit of the bottle we didn’t put in the food anyway!
Actually, nix that, we’ll open a new one.
For Keith. Salut. Cheers. Chin Chin.
Ingredients. Serves 2. Preparation time – 10 minutes. Cooking time – 40 minutes.
1 cup (posh) rice
1/2 onion, finely chopped
1 celery stick, finely sliced
1 handful frozen peas, I have big hands
2 garlic cloves, crushed
500ml vegetable stock
2 tbsp olive oil
white wine – about half a bottle
extra wine for drinking
ONE. Open the wine, pour yourself a glass. Raise one for Keith.
TWO. Heat the oil in a large and deep frying pan. Add the onion and garlic, cook them until they are soft, have another sip or glass. For Keith. When your onions are soft, add the celery and mushrooms.
THREE. Season everything, give it a stir and let it slowly cook for about 10 minutes, stir when it needs it.
FOUR. When the contents of your pan is looking cosmically softened add your posh rice. Mix it around and let it settle for a minute. Increase the heat. This next part is important. Bring on the booze! Splash a (large) glug of your white wine in to the pan. Most recipes would call for you to let the booze cook-off at this point but twig boy, you, and Keith deserve better. Let the wine engulf the rice, give it time to get involved.
FIVE. After a few minutes add some of your stock, about a third. Give it a stir and let it mellow. Maybe have a phone chat with your best lady friend. It’s better if you enjoy a glass of wine whilst you chat.
SIX. I’ll be honest, I’ve never cooked risotto before. I blindly threw in booze and stock. It was a 75/25 ratio. At this point I added my peas. If you want to be technical (Keith didn’t) add a small glass of wine and an equal amount of stock. Let it simmer. Stir.
SEVEN. Add the last throw of your of stock dice and another large glug of wine. Let it cook until the posh rice is cooked to your taste. Serve it with lashings of posh cheese or a nutritional yeast equivalent. Oh, also the wine.
A super simple, super healthy soya stir fry. You can add pretty much anything you like to this dish and have carte blanche to add extra chillies or spices. Get creative and enjoy. Ingredients. Serves – 1. Preparation time – 20 minutes. Cooking time – […]
More Indian sides? Fair enough. (I may have made a solo Indian feast last week. Time moves slowly here) Like sprouts? No worries if not, just exchange the sprouts for a green of your choice. Greens and spices combine to make… Er… Spiced greens. Ingredients. Serves […]
They’re lentils, they’re curried. What else is there to know?
Ingredients. Serves – 2 as a side. Preparation time – 5 minutes. Cooking time – 20 minutes.
100 g red lentils
2 knobs of butter
1 small onion, finely chopped
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 chilli, sliced
1 tsp turmeric
1 tsp cumin seeds
1 thumb of ginger, grated
1 tsp garam masala
1 tsp ground ginger
ONE. Thoroughly rinse your lentils and cook according to the packet. If your packet has no instructions, spend more and get higher class lentils next time. Until then, place your lentils in a saucepan* and cover them with water. Make sure the water is about an inch above the lentils. Bring to the boil, cover, reduce to a simmer and cook until they are tender. About 20 minutes.
*Your lentils will expand, take this into account when choosing your saucepan. You don’t want to end up with a ‘magic porridge pot’ situation.
TWO. Whilst your lentils are cooking, dry fry your cumin seeds for 60 seconds. Remove from the pan and put to one side. Use one of your knobs of butter to fry the onion, ginger and garlic. When they are beautifully cooked add your garam masala and coriander. Remove from the heat.
THREE. Your lentils should be finished now, add the other knob of butter, the turmeric and stir. Then add your onion mixture. Stir again and serve.
Yes, I said it, oven-baked falafel. It works, trust me. They are not fal-awful. Unlike that joke. That was terrible. Seriously, try them with a bit of salad, a dressing of your choice and one of our genius wholemeal pitta breads. It’s good! Ingredients. Makes […]